Vulva is not a vagina

Vulva is not a vagina

Your vulva is not a vagina but you know what I mean.

Your Vulva is not your vagina! Our fearless teller of necessary truths Sharon Gordon shares 10 facts about this important and ignored body part. Gordon believes that understanding your genitals is the first step to exciting and better sex. This article first appeared in the Saturday Star.

I recently got asked by a reader whether a vibrator could get sucked up and lost in a vagina? The answer is no but I think we need to talk about vaginas.

We commonly talk about the vagina as the vulva (I use the term vagina because its easier to say but it’s not anatomically correct), The Vulva sounds like that sturdy Swedish Car which is not necessarily a bad thing. The vagina is the inside bit of female genitals, it is the tube that runs from the cervix to the genital opening. The outside bits of the genitals are technically called the vulva.

The vulva is made up of your labia – inner and outer (those are the lips that fold closed around your vagina entrance), urethra (the bit you urinate out of), clitoris (found on the outside and on the belly button side of the body and pleasure centre) and the vagina entrance.

A man called Realdo Columbo claimed to have discovered the clitoris in 1559.

I find it amusing that his name is Columbo and that women allegedly had no idea it was there! Oh how we appease the ego.

The clitoris is by far the most exciting genital body part. It is much more than the little bump you think it is we have only recently discovered that it is approximately 10 cm long. I have a 3D printed rendition of it and even I was surprised.

Its only purpose is pleasure!

It has double the amount of nerve endings than the penis – about 8000! Let it never be said that sex is more pleasurable for men than it is for women. It is not unsurprising then that most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. Men seem to believe what they have seen in porn movies – that you need to push hard and fast – not so, its about clitoral stimulation.

One of the first questions I will ask you when trying to identify the perfect adult toy for you is to establish whether you are a clitoral or G-Spot girl. It is vital to your pleasure that you know.

The answer I usually get is a giggle and ‘I’m not sure, maybe both!’

The truth is that 80% of us can orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone whereas only 18% will orgasm from penetration alone and 2% never orgasm regardless.

The vagina is a self-cleaning so never ever wash it out with harsh chemicals and soaps. It will always have a slight discharge and it may smell musky – this is all perfectly normal and should tell you that you are a healthy woman.

Unfortunately, we have been raised to feel shame and embarrassment about our bodily functions. Reclaim your power today – it’s normal and if someone tries to shame you give them a withering shame on you look.

If you know your body and your smell changes it might be telling you that you have an infection. This is very easily treated with over the counter treatments or see your health care provider.

The hymen (a thin flap of skin that stretches over the vagina entrance) has long been prized as a sign of virginity. That’s a discussion for another day. It does not pop, or bleed buckets when it is breached. The chances are that it was removed by riding a bicycle, a horse or falling off the swings. You probably didn’t even feel it.

Another common myth is that you have to be aroused to be wet. It is a common weapon used against women to shame them. Especially little girls who are being abused.

Now if we understood that the vagina lubricates, that it has to lubricate to protect us from bacterial infections and that lubrication is healthy and normal, it cannot be used as a weapon to shame.

Lubrication is NEVER, EVER, EVER to be considered an indication of consent.

If you believe that you are beyond stupid and need serious re-education.

When you are pregnant you will lubricate and have a discharge overload. This is to protect the baby from foreign bacteria. It’s normal so don’t be concerned.

When a woman is aroused the vulva will change colour, the clitoris and labia will swell and the vagina will stretch to accommodate deeper penetration.

Which brings me to another myth I’d like to dispel – The vagina does not stretch out of proportion because you have had sex with more than one lover!

It will stretch during childbirth but it will shrink again. The vagina may be a little wider after natural childbirth but with Kegel exercises and the use of Benwa Balls you can firm those muscles back to their original strength.

The vagina entrance can tear during natural childbirth and this too may affect the pleasure zones with nerve endings having to be reformed.

Which brings me to the original question can a small vibrator get lost in the vagina?

At the deep end of your vagina is your cervix, the bottom portion of your uterus. It is only during childbirth, your cervix dilates — opens up — as the baby passes through. But the rest of the time your cervix stays closed, so you can’t really get anything accidentally lost or stuck in there.

If you feel something is stuck – simply go to the toilet and bear down, whatever it is will pop out. If it’s a tampon you may have to pull it out with your fingers if the cord broke off.

I still find it surprising that most women have never looked at their vulva and are so deeply shamed by even the thought of it. It should be as common as looking at your nose or mouth.

How can you not know what she looks like?

The best way is to lie in an empty bath with a mirror and give yourself permission to touch and explore.

It is the first step to a healthier relationship with your body and hopefully better and more rewarding sex.

If you have any questions or comments you can get hold of me on info@lolamontez.co.za

 

 

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