Undress the Vocab.
Top tips on HOW TO TALK DIRTY.
You know you want to, you know it turns you on, you know that one dirty word that makes him want to explode! Only you can’t say the words! You’re not that kind of person! Or maybe you are, then good for you. Today we learn how to undress the vocab.
It’s best to test whether this will work in your relationship. I once knew a man who would lose his erection immediately if his partner spoke. I think the fantasy he was having got interrupted. Try it and if it doesn’t work well then move onto something else.
Talking dirty may not come that easy to you it’s not the same as swearing.
I have a potty mouth and still had to learn how to do it.
Learning to talk dirty is empowering, sexy and fun but it takes practice and the best thing is that you do not have to use one filthy word to do it.
There are three ways in which to talk dirty and undress the vocab–
- Encouragement, ‘Oh my you are such a big boy!’
- Erotic Instruction, ‘Deeper, take me deeper!’
- Fantasies,‘ Your library books are late, you will have to pay a fine!”
The best place to start is to think about what it is that turns you on – do you like to watch? Always wanted to be the wanton librarian? Well that’s a place to start. Now you have to find your voice. The wonderful thing about fantasies is that you can play act. You don’t even have to be yourself.
You need to think of lines that character might say. And then you have to practice or you might just giggle your way through it. You have to say the words aloud so you don’t get a fright when they come out of your mouth. .
Start while you are alone, it gives you a chance to laugh at yourself and an opportunity to change the inflections in your voice until it works. You need to get used to saying them so when you whip them out in a moment of passion – he is the only one who is shocked!
Words to practice on your own:
- Do you want me?
- I want you
- Do you like this
- Oh I love it when you …
Try to establish what turns him on. Your fantasies may work for you but he may have a mother who is a librarian and your role play will just freak him out and you may never see that erection again. And how will you know. Ask!
Once you’ve established his hot spots, find the language that suites it. If one of his fantasies is to have sex in a public place, you can try: ‘What if someone sees us?’ or ‘Let’s be so loud that they applaud when we leave this dressing room!’ It takes you straight into the role play.
Always had a thing for a teacher? ‘Where is your homework?’ ‘Did you bring teacher her apple? Now what is she going to eat?’ ‘You have been so bad! I am going to have to spank you!’ Getting the idea? Work on scenarios and speaking them. It can be a fun exercise to throw ideas around while having dinner with your friends or your partner. What seems hysterical out of context works fantastically when passion is in the mix.
If your imagination is having trouble- read a naughty book or magazine, watch a porn movie. Call a phone sex line, expensive but all in the name of research! See which words or scenarios work for you. Better still do one or all of these things with your partner. It makes for great foreplay.
This may seem really embarrassing at first and it may be devastating of he is so shocked he runs, so test the water first. If your partner is game I promise you that when it is said in the throws of passion it is an instant way to heat up the situation and get all your engines revving.
A word to the wise – do not ever mention friends, family members, neighbours or the dog. The same rule goes for the fantasies you choose to share with your partner. It all seems like fun and games at the time but if things go South, your partner will remember what you said and you may just find that fantasy in the divorce papers.
Thank you for all the comments about last week’s article, please keep them coming! firstname.lastname@example.org