This past week I was reminded how scary it is for ‘ordinary’ people to walk into a sex shop. I guess I understand it. It is the reason
I started Lola Montez because my first sex toy shopping experience was just so awful.
After my first purchase I felt like I needed to be hosed down at the Fire House but instead I have tried to change the sex toy industry.
I was also told by someone who was brave enough to walk into the store, to purchase Lingerie, that he didn’t need a sex toy because he wasn’t ‘inadequate’! He has a real penis and no one has ever complained.
Can you imagine the look on my face? He has clearly never read this column.
What is it that scares people so? What do they think is going to happen to them when they walk into a sex shop? People I know really well would rather die than be seen walking into a sex shop in fact they compared it to going to a ‘whore house’!
One of the reasons sex shops are always in such scaly areas is because the landlords in more upmarket areas won’t allow us in. I have been told in more than one conversation that ‘we do not want your sort here’. I remember one of the very first premises I rented I disclosed what we sell and was surprised when they gave me the premises. A couple of months later I realised that they hadn’t read that section.
The landlord stormed in demanding to know what I was hiding behind the curtains. The more I said nothing, the more distressed he got, so I invited him in to look. It was as if I had invited him into the den of iniquity.
He stepped in and found himself in a shop or should I rather say a boutique with Persian Carpets, chandeliers, lamps, clean floors and tastefully displayed adult toys and lingerie. I could see that he was more than slightly disorientated.
I asked him to which offensive curtains he was referring to, which brought them back to their senses. He stomped to the back of the shop and pulled at the curtain covering the back wall and guess what he found? The back wall!
Now he was really confused, a wall? Before I could ask him what he was expecting he stormed out. I later found out that he thought we had sex booths behind the curtains.
Not all sex shops are equal!
I am not surprised that you think that all sex shops are equal. My first experience was a beaded curtain, sticky floors and porn on TV screens, with booths in the back! The guy behind the counter looked like he had just played with himself and he had absolutely no product knowledge. Make no mistake these shops still exist and they have their place but they are not your only option.
There are a handful of alternative boutique adult stores around. If you go into one of these the experience will be vastly different. It will be like walking into an upmarket clothing boutique. It’s comfortable, clean and smells delightful. The staff will be knowledgeable about the product and be able to advise you where to get additional help if required. Who knows if you come to Lola Montez, you may even get me!
Yes it may be scary for the first minute and then you’ll see just another gorgeous shop that sells items that take batteries or charge. The products are fun and really help with play. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. Nobody bites! Unless of course you ask and pay me a million rand!
Moving onto those who think that people who use sex toys are single, inadequate or dysfunctional you are very mistaken. They are not dangerous or harmful. They are called toys, for a reason.
They are for playing with in your relationship, with or without your partner. You can play with them before, during or after sex. They can be used as part of foreplay, they can be used on him, her or us. Toys are used to add an extra dimension of excitement in your sex life. How can that possibly equate to being inadequate?
Would you think that your child is inadequate because you bought them a Play Station, train set or Barbie Doll?
If you apply the same logic used to disparage sex toys, your child is perfect in every way and does not need toys for entertainment. Is your child inadequate because he wants a toy or six?
No, he is a perfectly normal little boy. This is what normal, healthy, sexy and sexually confident men and women do. Sex toys are the most incredible wing men ever!
So this week, fight your fear and your prejudice and buy a sex toy to warm up the long winter evenings. If you’d like to know what you are walking into go onto the Lola Montez web site and watch the shop tour video. For comments or queries: Sharon@lolamontez.co.za
Article first published in the Saturday Star.