I’m going off the reservation today. I have this rage boiling inside of me that just needs an outlet – so here goes!

What is it that makes people think that they can have what I do for free or that they are entitled to assume that I have lower morals than anyone else? (that’s a whole other rage).

I have 12 years of experience in the adult industry and during that period grown a reputable brand that specialises in adult toys. We know our stuff. We are professional, educated and specialists in our field but because it has to do with the adult industry it has to be treated with disrespect. I thought this would get better but it’s not, it seems to be getting worse!

As part of our service offering we do parties for groups of girls and sometimes couples. A Lola Montez Consultant arrives at your home, does a display, a talk, a demo and then takes orders. The problem is that we are seen as the entertainment – the party clown if you will.

Guests get to touch and feel, occasionally break, damage and open sealed goods and laugh. Some openly try to shame what we do. Others merely show disrespect by talking or texting during the presentation. Now I’m all about fun and making sex something to talk about and one of the ways to do that is to be funny. But we are not merely the entertainment. Our primary business, the one that pays the bond, school fees and groceries is selling sex toys.

No sales – no earn, it really is as simple as that.

Over the years we have instituted a sales target for parties. If we sell more than R3000 worth of toys at the party, the party is free, if not there is a R1000 fee. R3000 is equivalent to one We Vibe, two bunny cock rings and a couple of lubes. So when people start arguing about the R1000 I know they have no intention of buying and that we are being considered as cheap entertainment.

A clown for your child’s party will cost you R2500. Get a dancer – R1800. A Jumping Castle also costs and you bear the cost for damages. So why do people expect us to entertain them for free? 

And my very best – ‘our guests are very conservative so please don’t bring any toys!’ We sell toys- that’s our business! If you don’t want toys you’re hiring the wrong company.

One enquiry which has set off this tirade asked – ‘Why should I pay you to come and sell to me?’  – Here is the answer – you don’t have to pay me if you get your friends to buy R3000 worth of toys. Now the fact that you are terrified that you will have to pay R1000, for two and a half hours of my time, not including petrol, time away from my family and travelling time, means you and your guests have no intention of buying. You think that I can come and entertain you – for free!

I don’t mind being snubbed or pointed at because of what I do. I will not apologise. I believe that I make the world a better place and that my product and knowledge adds value to your relationships. If I still practiced as an attorney I would be charging in excess of R2000 an hour.

But you want me to come and entertain you for free? I don’t think so!

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