Orgasms – the good, the bad and the great!
How to find your Orgasm?
So now we have identified some of the reasons you cannot orgasm we can try to help you along the path to great orgasms.
The medical complications are the easiest to deal with. A visit to your GP, tweaking your medication, sorting out hormone levels is relatively easy to do although many cannot talk to their doctor about the problems they are experiencing – it means you have to talk about sex!
We refer our clients to a sex positive GP we work with and if you want her number just give the Lola Montez Boutique a call on 0861 LOLAMO and we’ll refer you.
Sexual technique is another easy fix. We’ll talk to you about trying different positions, learning new foreplay techniques and how to communicate your needs to your partner.
Try watching Yoni or Lingam Massage DVD’s available in store or read the tips and techniques regularly shared on this blog.
It’s when we get to the mental issues that things get a bit more difficult to resolve. If issues are related to abuse, mental or physical we urge you to seek professional help and again we have several sexologists and therapists we can refer you to. We will also give you some sound solid advise and homework.
The homework starts with you coming to terms with your body.
You need to start looking at yourself naked and while you’re at it have a really good look at your genitals.
The easiest way to do this is to lie in an empty bath. Get your mirror and have a really good look at your vagina. Get your fingers involved. Find your clitoris and see how much it looks like a mini penis. Pull the hood back, check your inner and outer labia (the lips). You may need a bit of lube to make it more pleasurable. Try the Montez Play Water Based Lubricant. Check out your vagina entrance and if you’re brave enough insert your fingers and feel how wonderful, soft and velvety your vagina is.
If you are feeling too uncomfortable – stop. There is always later.
Repeat until you are completely comfortable with the process.
Then it’s time to move on – while your fingers are inside see if you can find your G-Spot and then find out what makes you feel good. Everyone’s body is different. Your special spot may be two fingers up and one finger over. If you know what feels good and where to find it you’ll know how to guide your partner.
Try to bring yourself to orgasm just using your hand. If you can great – keep practicing.
See which rhythms or pressures please you most. And then we recommend introducing a vibrator for extra pleasure. Try an Ammunition Bullet, Egg Vibrator or Lelo Nea.
If you still can’t find your orgasm bring out the big guns – The Fairy Wand.
This is a multi speed vibrator in the likeness of the Hitachi Wand. It is electrical so it never goes flat. We love the Fairy Wand for clitoral stimulation because it does not look like a penis but rather like a massager you can use on sore muscles.
This is important especially if you have preconceived ideas about vibrators. We love it more because its vibration is so strong that you needn’t put it anywhere near your genital area to receive extreme pleasure from it.
And if at first you don’t succeed – just keep trying. But don’t chase the orgasm just enjoy the journey and the rest will follow. When you feel yourself starting to peak finish the orgasm with your hand because let’s face it – your partner is never going to vibrate.
Now you know what you are looking for – it’s time to introduce your partner to the party. We recommend using toys as a special treat. Show your partner what you’ve learnt and guide him.
Use the vibrator to get you close to orgasm and then let your partner take you over – win – win!