Oral Sex 101

Oral Sex 101

It’s time for a master class on Oral Sex 101.

I’ve never met a man who doesn’t enjoy a blow job. I’ve heard about them but I’ve never met them. What I have heard is that many women don’t know how to give a blow job. By the same token I’ve met numerous women who love receiving oral sex and just as many who don’t. I think it’s an intimacy issue. So today we are going to talk about oral sex – For Him and Her.

I’ll start off with the basics – these can be applied to both men and women. Preparation is key.

Start with a shower. A good clean wash so your long suffering partner does not have to deal with unpleasant smells or discharges. Having said that let me ask you – no beg you, to stop with the fish jokes! They are not funny EVER!

Men often don’t smell as rosy as they think and women are far too polite to make jokes about it! If she does not like you going down on her – chances are some idiot made a fish joke and it has stuck with her!

Moving on – Make sure you get rid of all the loose hair. It’s just not sexy when you have a pubic hair stuck in your throat like unwanted dental floss!

Next decide who is giving and who is receiving this time round. Remember that oral sex is a gift – not an obligation. And if you’re going to do it, do it right with the best intention. There is nothing worse than an unwilling partner, looking bored with body language that says – let’s get this over with.

You have to look at your partner’s genitals like they are the most exquisite, rare possession ever. A bit like when you see your first pair of Jimmy Choo shoes! Complete desire.

Remember that the person giving oral sex is the one in charge and if you as the receiver think that force is pleasurable – it’s not, it’s disrespectful.

Next get to know the body parts.

The frenulum is the most sensitive part on the penis (it’s the bit that joins the foreskin to the shaft), and the clitoris is the most sensitive part on the female anatomy. You know how it feels when your partner hones in on those areas without a bit of foreplay – not pleasant! You have to work up to it.

Tongue TipsTechniques to be used on men and women are based on tongue and breath. I could write a book on these techniques but the basics include a very flat loose tongue, for long lapping motions. A slightly more taught tongue to be used to increase pressure and a pointed tongue for very specific and targeted motions and areas. Breath includes breathing out and breathing in – try it – lick the back of your hand now breath out onto the wet area – now inhale – try pursing your lips – feel the difference?

Next in your oral sex pleasure arsenal is lubricant! Spit will not do!

Make sure that you are both comfortable. There is nothing worse than getting a cramp when you’re on the short strokes.

Communication during oral sex (any sex) is important. Listen with your ears and your eyes. Watch out for discomfort, a twitch or a sound that indicates you’re in the wrong place doing the wrong thing. I call it the Dolphin – that high pitched no squeak.

Eye contact, facial expression, body language and verbalization are all equally important. If your partner’s doing something right, groan in appreciation, whisper encouragement, you’ll be glad you did.

For her

The entire genital area is sensitive. Nerve endings run all the way around from the clitoris to the anus. So don’t miss out on giving the entire area pleasure. We are all different. If your previous girlfriend liked it one way chances are this one won’t or the previous girlfriend lied. So don’t let your ego get in the way of her pleasure.

The best way to start is to ask her how she would like to be licked. Give her your clean hand, with the thumb and forefinger touching (forming a tear shape) or as I call it, a hand vagina. Now let her lick it, suck it, feel it, indicating how she would like to be touched. Try it – it’s soooo sexy.

Now try to copy those movements. Don’t forget to give the outer and inner labia attention. Work up to stimulating the clitoris. Watch her body language. If she looks uncomfortable ask what you can change. LISTEN!

For him

Only tip of the penis is very sensitive. The shaft can feel but it mainly feels pressure and temperature so you do not have to deep throat for maximum satisfaction. Your hand can recreate the vagina very easily.

Don’t forget the testicles. They are often just hanging around, looking for a bit of attention. They are also your friend – they will indicate when he is close to orgasm so you know whether to duck or change strokes.

Start with slow lapping motions – followed by a well lubricated hand. Don’t head straight to the tip. Just when he thinks you are – get a wicked twinkle in your eye – ‘Not Yet’ and go back to the shaft. You want him to get to the point where he doesn’t know whether he wants to watch or feel. This is also when you tell him you’ve bumped the car!

Watch his body for the point of orgasm – the testicles will harden and move up, his skin and nipples will tighten, the breath will become shallower and he may even tell you that the action is about to happen.

You now have to make a decision. Are you going to spit or swallow – it’s completely up to you. If he is the shmuck who insists you swallow, try a bit of snowballing. Keep the semen in your mouth and give him a deep intimate kiss – giving it right back. If he’s willing to swallow then maybe you should too.

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