Open Secrets too few of us Girls Know!

Open Secrets too few of us Girls Know!

Open secrets too few of us Girls Know! When a client pops into the Lola Montez Store for a toy or advice the first question I ask is, ‘Are you a Clit or a G-Spot girl?’ More often than not the answer is, ‘I don’t know!’

Women have never been allowed nor encouraged to touch and explore their genitals and the mere suggestion has them shamed, blushing and giggling. Many people have absolutely no concept of just how wonderful the female body and especially the genitals are.

The average woman only looks at her genitals for the first time, with a mirror for a full view,  after the birth of her first child and then it’s a bit bruised and maybe even torn. It’s so much easier for men to understand their genitals because let’s face it – they are out there. Men get to touch their genitals several times a day and many men have no qualms about rearranging their testicles in public.

A woman’s genitals are a bit more mysterious. Not only is it difficult to get a good look but what you can see is not all you get. Our bits are hidden and mostly misunderstood.

Let’s start with the clitoris. It is that little bump that sits on the top side of the female genitalia, on the outside. It is above the vagina entrance and labia. It is covered by what is called the clitoral hood and when the hood is pulled back the clitoris head looks a bit like the head of a penis, only smaller with many more nerve endings, so be gentle!

Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation rather than from penetration so guys it really doesn’t matter how hard you push and pump, if the clitoris isn’t stimulated chances are she will not get there.

Before 8 weeks, the male and female foetuses, have the same genital make up. Between 8 and 10 weeks testosterone kicks in with male babies and the bits develop into clitoris, vagina and ovaries as opposed to penis and testicles.

The exposed part of the clitoris is only the tip of the entire organ. Just like the penis is is filled with nerve endings and erectile tissue. The clitoris, like the penis is about 4 inches long in its flaccid state and grows significantly when stimulated. It gets erect, just like a penis.

This magnificent body part also consists of clitoral bulbs and legs. It is alleged that the clitoral bulbs that lie against the vagina walls are actually what we call the G-Spot. I find it incredible that in 2016 we are still not really sure if this is the case or not.

The clitoral legs run down either side of the vagina opening towards the anus. Can you see now how much more you have to play with?

Think of the clitoris as you would a penis. The hood is like a foreskin and the glans (the little bulb you can see) is like the glans of the penis. The bits you cannot see are like the penis shaft. Stimulate the parts as you would a penis and you may get some stunning results!

The clitoris is NOT the urethra. The urethra is a completely different body part and cannot be seen without significant exploration. Get that mirror out and see if you can find yours.

The clitoris is the only part of the human body, both male or female that serves no other purpose other than pleasure. Imagine that, pure pleasure and so few of us have read the user manual.

I don’t know why, despite trying to find the answer, the clitoris has approximately 8000 nerve endings as opposed to 2000 on a male’s penis. In my calculation that makes our pleasure about 4 times more than a mans.

A clitoral stimulated orgasm can last much longer than a male’s orgasm and we are not even talking about an expanded orgasm.

The pleasure zones of the clitoris may also move around and to confuse men even more, all women are different in their preferences. What worked for one woman may not work for another.

Because women are discouraged and often forbidden from touching and exploring their bodies there is huge shame, guilt and fear attached to their genitals. Worse than that they have absolutely no idea of what pleasure they can experience.

If you are one of these women and even if you’re not, if you do nothing else this week get a hand mirror, lie in an empty bath, it allows you to get your head in the correct angle and supports your back and have a really good look. Get your fingers involved. Probe and explore and if you are comfortable enough pleasure and touch yourself and see how your anatomy changes. Start educating yourself about what feels good.

It seems like such a waste not to fully explore and enjoy this gift that we have been given for no other purpose than pleasure.

Next week I’ll talk about the rest of our girly bits. If you would like to comment, read and learn more please subscribe to my blog  For more information

Open Secrets first appeared in the Saturday Star on 30 July 2016.

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