Why you should play with Sex toys or Life is too short not to play with sex toys!
I have been working in the sex toy industry for about 15 years now and you would think that I have heard every excuse in the book for not using sex toys in your bedroom play. So imagine my surprise when Huffington Post published an article written by an unidentified ‘Christian Author’, about how your dildo will attract and attach demons to you.
In this article female masturbation is vilified and the reader is instructed to refrain for fear of continuous and unabated lust. The masturbating dildo user and her demons will be forced, with no free will in sight, to practice her lust to the point of orgasm.
Wait a minute, he says that like it’s a bad thing! This is the 21st Century.
I understand that many of you have enormous fear and misunderstanding when it comes to love, lust and sex but it is so easy to blame the devil or in this case the sex demons. I am not one to blame anything else for my bad behaviour. I am a big girl and quite happy to take full responsibility for my actions. Scrap that, let’s blame the demon Tequila for last weekend.
In the light of this idiot’s article I started thinking about all the excuses I have heard over the years. I even went to my Facebook Page and asked for comments. I advised my trusty friends that I am writing an article about why people don’t use sex toys and asked the question, “Why won’t you or don’t you use a sex toy?’
My favourite comment was – ‘Got nothing! It’s going to be a short article!’
The way I see it is the reasons people don’t or won’t use a sex toy on their own or in a relationship are either fear or ignorance based. I understand that religion has a part to play but for the sake of this article let’s agree that great sex and/or masturbation is not a sin and that mind blowing, intimate and fun sex is important. Sex is not just for procreation.
With this as our base line why should you use sex toys? If you have any other reasons not covered in this article I’d love to hear them.
The most infuriating is: ‘I don’t need one, I have a real man!’
REALLY! Let me explain, nobody needs a sex toy but life is so much more fun with one. Nobody needs a washing machine or a vacuum cleaner but life is so much easier if you have one. Your kid doesn’t need a Playstation or an iPhone if he has a ball?
A sex toy is just that – a toy for adults to play with. It’s fun, it makes you laugh, it increases intimacy and I promise that neither of you can hum for 40 minutes.
Similar to the excuse above is: ‘I can have sex without it!’ Yes you can and occasionally you should. Sex toys do not have to be used every time you have sex. If you like sushi you wouldn’t eat it every day or without soya sauce and wasabi.
Next is: ‘My partner doesn’t want to or my partner won’t like it or variations of the same”.
Why? Are they afraid that you might find out that they don’t know what they are doing? Why are they so insecure and shouldn’t you be the one setting the pace? If my partner didn’t like my toys he’d have to find someone else to play with, because in my world I only want the best.
I think that ‘my partner doesn’t want to’ excuse is more about them than the partner. I think they are afraid that their partner will think less of them for wanting to play with toys or they don’t know how to introduce them to their partner without hurting their feelings.
Let’s start with hurting their feelings. Are you saying that they really don’t know what they are doing so suggesting a toy will make them realise this? If so, why have you waited so long? Life is far too short for unsatisfying sex.
Or are you saying that there is nothing wrong with your sex life and the introduction of a sex toy will make it worse? Nope! It will add an extra dimension and a bit of spice to the relationship.
‘I’m afraid I’ll be desensitized’. Granted, it’s possible but everything in life is about moderation. The best advice is that you should use your toys for play, foreplay in particular. Tip to orgasm with flesh, either with your partner or with your hand.
The one excuse I will accept is ignorance. You don’t know how to use them or how to introduce them into your relationship. Why would you? Nobody teaches you this stuff and who are you going to ask? ME! I have even written a book on the subject – Play Together is available on Amazon EBooks – Click here to purchase it and support a good cause – ME!
The last excuse is ‘I cannot afford one’. Maybe you cannot afford a luxury brand but there are many more entry level brands to choose from and they will cost less than one meal out. I promise that it will give you far more pleasure than that one meal.
Here’s an idea, this weekend, skip the meal out, buy a toy instead then sprinkle some cake flour on the kitchen counter, roll in it and write ‘Eat me’ on your butt. See which your partner will enjoy more!