The G-Spot –to be or not to be!
The existence of this spot is still hotly debated by the scientists and women who swear by its existence. But let’s start at the beginning.
The G Spot is allegedly an erroneous zone which is ‘situated inside the vagina, when stimulated may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and potential female ejaculation’.
This illusive spot was discovered by a German Gynecologist, Ernst Grafenberg, hence the G spot. What I want to know is, what the hell was he up to when he found it?
You can read many articles and statistics and you will get as many opinions on the subject. So I am just going to tell you what I know and believe.
Let’s assume that the G Spot does exist and you want to find it. Remember your body is not a democracy this has to be your decision (if you have a vagina). I am going to share with you how to find it and what to do with it when you do.
The G Spot can be found on the belly button side of the vagina wall. We are all slightly different so yours might be a couple of centimeters to one side or the other. It sits about four centimeters up from the vagina opening. You can also feel to the top of your pubic bone, the part where the bone stops and the soft bit starts.
The G Spot is located round about there. Start looking for it dead centre and then move left, right or slightly up or down. Vague I know.
The trick is to look for it when you are aroused. Blood flows to the genital area and engorges everything. This is when the texture inside the vagina changes. Most of it will feel like soft velvet and the G Spot will feel like corduroy or a cat’s tongue.
The G Spot sits very close to the urethra, so when you do find it and press down onto it you may feel like you need to wee. Don’t, it’s just not sexy!
There are a number of motions you can use to locate and stimulate the G Spot. Many recommend the two finger ‘come hither’ motion. By that I mean moving your index and middle fingers, palm side up, in the come here motion, fingers to palm. Just a heads up, if she is not sufficiently aroused, it hurts. If you are going to use your fingers for heaven’s sake ensure that your nails and hands are clean. Ensure that your nails are trimmed with no hang nails. The vagina wall is fragile and can tear very easily.
Many prefer a gentle circular motion for stimulation, but as with everything, variety is the order of the day. You want to get a rhythm going, without too much concentration on one spot. Sex is a team sport so it is much more fun looking for it with your partner. Just remember no torch required. This is a feel exercise.
I’m never a fan of fingers, so I always recommend a toy for the finding process and even for the stimulation process. A toy has extra reach, doesn’t have nails that can scratch and is hard enough to really get the stimulation going. The toy can vibrate or not, the choice is completely yours. I have several in mind: Je Joue Fifi, Big G, Pout Libido Wand and the Hip G.
Try to get your partner to learn a G Spot massage technique, it is the bomb, and you will become a believer!
There are some positions that are better than others when stimulation and search for the G Spot. Try lying on your tummy with your bottom tilted up or the other way around, on your back with your bottom tilted to the ceiling. Use a firm cushion or specially designed wedge.
Many report that when the penis is involved Doggie style or Butterfly (use your imagination) are best for G Spot stimulation.
Now if you cannot find your G Spot don’t go into a panic, think you are broken or suffer any other sort of anxiety. Don’t give it a second thought. Remember there is a large part of the population that disputes its existence.
The more important question is, did you have fun looking for it?
And really who cares where the orgasm is coming from as long as you’re having one? We get so caught up in there must be something wrong with me if I can’t find it, don’t derive pleasure from it or simply don’t believe that it exists, that we forget about the pleasure of the journey.
Most women, about 70% of us, have great, earth shattering, Rigter scale 8 orgasms from clitoral stimulation. While penetration is great there is very little happening if the clitoris is not getting any attention. Oprah even said it on her talk show a couple of years ago, ‘The clitoris needs more attention’, and if she said it then it must be true!
So this week you are going in search of the G Spot. Happy Hunting! Don’t forget to send me the sex advice you would share with your younger self.