I’m not the DEVIL!

I’m not the DEVIL!

NO I’m not the DEVIL in a sex toy guise!

I’ve recently been exposed to a bit of judgement! Believe me I am used to it. You don’t tackle taboos without some people thinking the worst of you. Most times it’s water off a ducks back but sometimes it’s an oil slick.

At a very base level I’m a sex toy salesman. I do not sell drugs, I do not have sex with my clients and I don’t have children locked in cages. I have a couple of degrees and diplomas and probably read more in a month than most in a lifetime and yet I am seen as the lowest common denominator.

I was reminded of this when someone deeply religious refused to shake my hand.

I know that the word ‘sex’ said out loud usually increases the heartbeat, some may even break out in a sweat. I also know that many people think that when you are in the sex industry, you are part of what I call the Lunatic Fringe.

The Lunatic Fringe is the darkest parts of our psyche. The place where our fetish and fantasies live and whilst they exist they very, very seldom come out into mainstream sexuality. So why is that the first place people go?

My job as a sex toy sales woman, is to explain to you what the toys do, how they work, what they are made of and how you could use them. My real job is talking to you about your sexuality and guiding you through your perceptions and educating you about your body and relationship.

But no I am the devil incarnated!

Sex toys may be foreign to you. They may scare you and you may even be intimidated by them and yes there may even be some toys that fall into the lunatic fringe category but most don’t.

I was recently a guest on a television show where the interviewer asked me to pass the toys we were talking about around to the other guests. Fortunately she asked me off air because the one guest said she would never touch these evil items.

I didn’t fully understand what she was saying but it had something to do with Satan and only being permitted to use the original. She went as far as to compare the toys to bestiality. While she was spouting about the ‘original’ she was pointing with her very long, fake, red nails. The original indeed.

Sex toys are divided into several different categories and subcategories. I have written a book on the subject – (called Play Together and available on Amazon Ebooks). There are thousands of different products on the market today. They are manufactured in every imaginable colour, shapes and sizes. They are further manufactured in a variety of different materials, some better than others. Some take batteries, some charge like your phone and other use nothing at all, these are called Dildos.

Dildo is one of the top ten words searched on the internet. The first being porn! Most people come into the shop asking for a dildo when they actually mean a vibrator. Dildos have been around since about 30 000BC and do not vibrate. A vibrator does exactly that – vibrates!

Because there are so many available, this is where my expertise comes in.

I wish we didn’t call the SEX toys but rather RELATIONSHIP toys, with the emphasis on TOYS, because ultimately they are for play.

I’m often asked if I use toys. It’s a question that confuses me – doesn’t everyone?

Seriously, I have all this expertise and you want to know if I use them? The answer is yes, with and without my partner and not every day. Can we move on now?

I see toys as toys. You can pick one for every game you want to play. I don’t know when toys became so threatening.

We buy our children a variety of age appropriate toys as they grow up. Chewy toys when they are teething, dolls, guns, cars balls and electrical consuls. We never think this is inappropriate because they are not using the ‘original’.

Let’s face it our children can go outside and play with each other, wrestle, run and climb trees without a trip to the toy store. We aren’t afraid of being spotted in the toy store because we want our children to have games and toys to entertain them during their recreational hours.  We don’t want our children to be bored, ask any mother with children on school holidays. These toys too are stuck in all sorts of places. How many of you had to have a marble removed from a nose?

As we get older, the games and toys change. Sex becomes part of our recreation and all of a sudden the toy shop is a forbidden place. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I have been told that they would love to come into a sex shop (read toy shop for adults) but they are terrified of being spotted.

What do they think people are going to say? And just for one second think about what that statement says about what I do and what that indicates about what they think of me.

Toys are legal, they are fun, they should be a part of every adult’s play. You should have your very own toy box that you should keep neat and clean. They are after all just a bit of plastic with batteries, like a remote control car you are thinking of buying your child for Christmas.

If you have any questions or comments you email me sharon@lolamontez.co.za and for more info on toys watch my YouTube clips or buy the Book!

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