Censored! How to choose your first sex toy.

Censored! How to choose your first sex toy.

Censored! How to choose your first sex toy.

This is the article you were NOT allowed to read in the Saturday Star this past weekend – it was considered as too explicit and so it was censored and I had to write a different column!

How to Choose Your First Sex Toy.

I keep hinting at why you should be incorporating sex toys into your play and with a bit of luck you’ve almost made the decision to buy your first toy – Congratulations!

I know that the next step is quite daunting!  You’ve browsed the sex toys, checked out a few buyers’ guides and now know exactly what a cock ring does, you may even have decided if you’re a clit or G-Spot girl, but how do you actually choose a sex toy for yourself?

Stores like Lola Montez, have made it ultra easy for you to choose the right first time sex toy. If you are close to one of these stores, lovely consultants will assist you and you will be able to touch and feel the candidates. If not the Lola Montez website has provided you with lots of easy-to-read and simple information on the product pages.

Can you imagine why this article was censored?


Size is very important in a sex toy. It will depend on what you want from your toy? Are you a clit or G-Spot girl? Are you going to use your toy as a couple or on your own?

If you plan on enjoying clitoral play, then you’ll want something small in length and girth like an Ammunition Bullet Vibrator, WeVibe Tango or an Egg style vibrator.

If you like the idea of pleasurable penetration, then you’ll want something with a good length and a reasonable girth to it, like G Vibe or Natural Clone.

To determine exactly what size is right for you, consider what you’ve experienced already and what you enjoy most. Massive dildos won’t feel very nice to someone who has never experienced penetration and a slim Bullet Vibrator is sure to disappoint a size queen!


Sex toys are no longer phallic shaped monsters made from hard plastic (although they are still available and popular. Many sex toys have been designed by women and are ergonomic in shape, designed to fit your body perfectly.

These ergonomically designed toys are extremely popular. They are designed to fit the shape of the body and to fit into the palm of the hand – See Lelo Lily and the Love Stone.

When considering the shape of your sex toy, you need to know what you want it to do. If you want a mind-blowing clitoral orgasm, go for a simple classic vibrator where the vibrations are focused in the tip.

If you want to experiment with G-spot or prostate play then you’ll need a toy with a curve at the top of the shaft. Try the HipG, G Vibe  or the Lelo Gigi.

You have no doubt heard about the Rabbit Vibrators, made popular by Sex and the City. There are many different types on the market and are ideal for dual stimulation, G-Spot and Clitoral. If you look at the design you will see the shaft and on the side the Rabbit (or Bird or Dolphin). Usually the shaft makes a swirling motion (the further you bend it the bigger the motion). While all that is happening the Rabbit sits on the Clit area and vibrates. See Roger Rabbit or Je Joue Fifi. This toy is not for the nervous novice and the size may scare your partner.

We Vibe, Share Vibe or Vibrating Cock Rings are fantastic couple toys.

If you want to enjoy anal, then start with something small to aid insertion. Ensure that anything that gets inserted into the anus has a long handle or a flared base, as the anus sucks during orgasm and you don’t want to be having a trip to the Emergency Room. Try Omega Butt Plug or Jewel Plug.

If you cannot visit a store near you photos on the product pages allow you to see exactly what shape the sex toy is and where it is designed to go. By checking the different photographic views, you can easily decide if that sex toy will work for you although very often you may get a surprise at the size – too small or too big so it’s always best to purchase your first toy in person.


It is actually possible for a vibrator to be too powerful.

If you’re particularly sensitive, then something as powerful as a Wand or Pocket Rocket is going to prove painful rather than pleasurable.

However, if you struggle to orgasm, then you’re going to want something with a lot of power and multiple functions.

The easiest way to work out the power of a sex toy is to look at the kind of batteries it takes. The bigger the batteries, or the more there are of them, the more powerful a sex toy is and the ones that charge or are attached to the mains, like a pocket palm usually pack quite a punch.


So you’ve slimmed your selection down to a few potential candidates but what would really push you in the right direction are the opinions of real life sex toy enthusiasts so read the reviews but nothing beats trying it out for yourself.

I suggest that you have a couple of toys to choose from because variety adds spice and you never know what you are going to feel like for dinner tonight. Happy playing.

If this was too explicit I guess a column on how to have anal sex is out of the question?

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