10 Ways to Spice up your sex life

10 Ways to Spice up your sex life

10 ways to Spice up your sex life

Ever heard the saying:

If you’re bored then it’s safe to say you are boring!

And sex is usually the first place it shows.

The reason our sex lives become mundane is usually because we are bloody lazy! We slip into a comfort zone which really is just another word for RUT! You know that Friday night you will get a tap on the bum or a tweak on the nipple and the game is on.

No variation required. Wrong!

If you want to increase your intimacy levels and make your sex life more exciting you are going to have to do some work. I can hear you moan-‘More work, like I don’t have more than enough already!’ I’m afraid there is no magic pill that will instantaneously fix this.

The first thing you both need to be is on the same page in the same book. I can’t stress enough that you have to trust your partner. None of this will work if you don’t.

This subject ‘boredom’ has to be approached very gently. When it comes to matters of sexual prowess we take things very personally.

Variety is the spice of life and it will certainly help add spice to your sex life. So here are my top 10 ways to spice up your sex life. It does not have to be an earth moving change, just a little something different.

1The easiest is to change your default sex position. We all have one. Whether it be missionary, doggy or woman on top, change it. Go online and check out some variations.

Sex doesn’t always have to be romantic ‘making love’, sometimes it can be raw, unabridged, up against the wall fucking. Take charge and ravage your partner. Look at her like you would a muscle car. Put on your acting shoes and make him believe that you are doing to die, if you do not have him immediately, right then and there, whether that moment is in the kitchen, lounge or bathroom.

Which brings me to my next suggestion for spicing it up, have sex in a different location. A hotel is great but a different room is just as good. The couch, floor, table or bonnet of the car all work. Do it – right there! If you usually have sex before going to sleep, have it in the morning or if you have the luxury, mid afternoon. Shake it up.

Make time for sex. I know this is a cliché but sex probably isn’t even on your ‘To Do’ list. You HAVE to make time for sex if you want it to get better, be that for a quickie or a full afternoon. Make it a priority at least one day a week. Put all your screens away, phones, tablets and TV included.

You are not going to have great sex if your relationship is filled with anger, hurt and frustration. If you want great sex you have to resolve the conflict. Conflict makes it very difficult if not impossible for couples to trust each other and you need trust to be adventurous.

Your wild child is never going to come out and play if you feel vulnerable and judged. Once you trust your partner it will be easier to release the beast.

Be adventurous.

Try things you may consider taboo: Oral or Anal Sex, explore a fetish. Make sure it’s fun and remember the cardinal rule, it has to be safe, sane and consensual. Do something you would not normally even consider.

Exercise together. Exercise is a libido booster. It’s a great way to spend time together. Develop a code that only the two of you get. When you do squats code tells him to imagine you riding up and down on him. Just see how long the session lasts after that! Exercise is a great way to flirt with each other.

Speaking of flirting, do you even remember what it feels like. Try to remember.  It was fun and exciting. You were never quite sure what was going to happen next.

You can add spice back into your relationship simply by flirting with each other. Sex should be fun, adult play, not a chore or boring. If it is you really can change it.

Once you have done the basics start adding props into the mix. Sex toys, lube, erotica, anything that tickles your …fancy! Your sex life can improve so if you don’t like what you do, change it. You can I know you can.

And now:

I want to write an article with all your help. What is the best piece of sex advice you would give your younger self? You all have a wealth of knowledge and I’d love you to participate in this joint project. A;; you have to do is submit your tip to me via email. Tell me whether you want your name included or want to remain anonymous. Looking forward to hearing from you. Send your mail to sharon@lolamontez.co.za.

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