Tantric Sexuality Lessons

Tantric Sexuality - by Ma Anand Leandra

I have been asked by many tantra students and friends: "What exactly is tantric sexuality?"

It is not easy to describe tantric sexuality if the emphasis is placed on the physical experience alone. In all honesty, such information should be given under the banner or eroticism, sexuality or sensuality. When mind-blowing experiences are promised, or sensational expanded orgasms guaranteed, one should approach such teachings with caution. This does not mean this kind of sexual experience is not possible, it is - I just feel it should be called what it is, and not Tantra. When it comes to Tantra, there is another dimension which many tantrikers call the spiritual dimension of sexuality, and certainly, this has been my experience.

But this in itself is also difficult our understanding of spirituality differs so much from religion to religion and from culture to culture.In addition to this, I also have also now been blessed by two teachers of Tantra, who refuse to emphasize the spirituality of Tantra for good reasons. Spirituality has been a buzz word in esoteric and new age circles for quite some time. The word stands for many things and it is hard to decipher what exactly is meant.

Klaus Smedts said at the outset of my massage training: "I am not spiritual, I don't talk spiritual stuff, I use simple every day words for what I do....and what I do is, I love, I give love, I live love..." and by the end of the training, I was convinced that he is the most awake, most enlightened and definitely the most accepting and loving person I had met.

Ron Solo, with whom I later trained said at the outset of our training: "If you can't see it, ear it, hear it, feel it or make love to it, you will have to prove to me that it is real". He too, emphasizes the simplicity of Tantra. For him Tantra is all about touch. Ron's touch is absolutely divine in a real sense, you do not feel his hands on your body, you simply feel the energy. He, like Klaus, expresses pure white love and yet, he is one of the most down to earth people I know.

My experience of both these well experienced tantrikers has been exactly what they say Tantra to be. The simplicity of what they teach allowed my processes, my journey, to go very deep. So yes, Tantra teaches spirituality in a very real way and it does so through teachers who are and live what they teach. It teaches becoming whole and connected to life in a very special way. You do not have to emphasise this to the learner, the learner goes there naturally in the process of the work.

My experience of tantric touch and tantric sexuality has been extremely healing. I have reached the most hidden secrets of my being when my body has been touched in a tantric way. I have time and time again, had tears in my eyes during or after a Tantra session with my coaches. Feelings of sheer joy, but also long forgotten hurts, fears, insecurities and even deep sitting anger have arisen, when my heart was touched through the touching of my body. Was this horrible? No, not at all! It was healing on a deep level, allowing these memories - usually body memories, as my mind was constantly being surprised to surface and being held, being able to talk, being encouraged, and simply to be accepted and loved in and with whatever I was feeling. All it took on my part was, a willingness, an openness to be what was in the moment, and the next moment would be different, again and again.

Sex never did this for me. It was either good or frustrating and that was it. So you see, tantric sexuality is not just mind-blowing sex. To me, tantric sexuality is healing on a deep level, full of surprises and wonder-ful in a true sense of the word. It is also a journey that begins somewhere and has no ending. What I write about it today, will be different tomorrow and next month and next year for the simple reason, I will grow with each experience. It is a process of becoming whole, complete - a process of discarding conditioning, discarding limitations of the mind, limitations of the body, limitations of the self. It is a journey to being blissful with who you are, with your life, a journey to your a deepning of your senses, a deepning of your awareness. It is a journey into the moment, each moment, every moment.

One of the aspects of Tantra is that is has to be experienced. You can read about it, talk about it, but in order to understand how it works, you need to experience a tantric journey with a genuine Tantra teacher - one who is not self taught, but has been along this journey with a teacher or coach themselves. As in psychotherapy, the necessity to have experienced what it is like to be on the receiving end before attempting to be on the giving end, is so important. How can you know the vulnerability of the client, if you have not experienced it yourself To put it simply, you cannot.

On this page, I will be posting quotes and thoughts that reflect the true quality of tantric sexuality is. I begin with the subject of orgasms. This is such a serious business! Most people, particularly guys, are looking for the ultimate orgasm the total sexual experience. A lot of women are looking for orgasm - period. And if not that, they seek the quality of love they know must be out there. We chase orgasms in our goal orientated sexuality my past is full of this. If we don't have them, we feel frustrated. We confuse ejaculation with orgasm, we give labels to orgasm - that was a good one, that was not - so this is a really important subject.

Enjoy - and I hope I give you food for thought!
Namaste
Leandra